Dade County is now up to 16 COVID-19 cases, according to the Georgia Department of Public Health Daily Status Report. So far, there has been just one death here from the virus, and in a place this size it wasn't that hard to figure out who the victim was by reading the obits. But the identities of the 15 living cases are carefully shielded by medical privacy laws.
That's fine with The Planet, but after over a month of virtual house arrest imposed by the dread coronavirus, it would be seriously peachy to be able to confirm independently that the damn thing, like, exists. Can anybody help The Planet out here?
lf you've had the virus, even if you're one of the asymptomatic cases who learned you'd been exposed from the antibody test, The Planet would love to hear from you. Here's why:
These endless weeks of staycation--the term "month of Sundays" has occurred to The Planet more than once--have gotten on people's last nerve, and if you spend any time online (and these days, by God, who doesn't?) you'll see any number of conspiracy theories. DOCTOR ADMITS THAT COVID-19 IS A LIE! COVID-19 IS A GUMMINT PLOT TO TAKE AWAY OUR LIBERTIES! COVID-19 IS A PLOT BY THE PRESS TO KEEP US IN FEAR! The Planet never quite figured out what the press was supposed to get out of keeping folks in fear but has seen the media blamed more times than sticks can be shaken.
As far as the press-as-bad-guy theory, of course the big players out there must speak for themselves but The Planet can tell you it had absolutely nothing to do with it. The
Planet hates the very word COVID-19 and is fixin' to go postal at the way Georgia's final-g-droppin', needs-help-readin'-the-hard-words governor pronounces the short I as a short E. The Planet is fed up reporting on the local gummint by watching its 3 p.m. livestreams and frustrated by local law enforcement's choice of this particular moment in history to stop parting with basic public information. And as for this sheltering-at-home crap, all The Planet can say is...
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The Planet has imposed a temporary ban on canned tomato products in its pantry after one too many homey little casserole and is thinking of going vegetarian following a couple of unfortunate incidents with ground turkey. The Planet did not perpetrate COVID-19. The Planet is in fact SICK AND TARD of COVID-19!
So the press is innocent here, at least locally. And as for the gummint? Come on! It's true that the government-imposed lockdown deprived citizens of the right of peaceful assembly, kept them from traveling freely, impeded their ability to vote, and forbade them to give or attend a wedding, funeral or birthday party. But as far as The Planet could tell, the federal government not only resisted imposing those restrictions, it in fact denied until the last possible minute that the virus was much more to worry about than the common cold.
Now the Trump administration seems as eager to get the quarantine behind us as Gov. Kemp, who is so hot to get workers off unemployment he issues orders seemingly requiring them to give customers massages and tattoos from six feet away. Meanwhile Dade's state-level pols have their proboscises so deeply embedded in the governor's apertures they don't seem to notice that Dade's numbers have exploded in the past week. In fact, who knows if they notice Dade at all? The Planet got an email this week from Rep. Colton Moore announcing his debate with Sen. Jeff Mullis at the Dade Public Library on April 30--he hadn't seem to realize the library had closed down in March and was not expected to reopen until sometime in May.
At the county level, the Dade County Commission tried valiantly but in vain to stand up to Gov. Tele-Tattoo about closing Cloudland Canyon State Park, and maybe they wouldn't have minded extending the lockdown--but if you watched them flopping around with Kemp like they were rasslin' a Sumo you won't have much doubt this is because they are the only branch of gummint at all interested in keeping our little patch of dirt safe from the plague.
So The Planet is not fixin' to blame COVID-19 on the press or the federal, state or county gummint, or to buy into any conspiracy theory at all. In fact, The Planet has been frothing with righteous indignation at a state that puts out billowing case counts with one hand and back-to-work orders with the other.
Then it suddenly occurred to the poor, cabin-feverish, casserole-crazed Planet that for all it knew the conspiracy theorists might be right. The Planet reads the grim news of virus deaths on the internet, including high-profile people on the national scene. But closer to home? Nothing but faceless numbers on the Georgia Department of Health Daily Status Report. The Planet has heard no colloquial reports of sickness from anybody here at the center of the universe. Of course, The Planet's universe is smaller than usual these days--it's seriously hard to stick your beak into other people's business when you're under house arrest.
So, Gentle Reader, lest The Planet begin to think the earth is flat and the moon landing was "fake news" (The Planet has BTW started to hate that term worse than canned tomato products) how's about showing a little pity here and giving the poor old rag a clue about what's going on in the community? The Planet is interested in any and all local personal experience with COVID-19, even, again, if you're just someone who took the antibody test to see if the cold you had in February was really the virus.
Ideally, The Planet would like to share your story with readers, but if you want to remain anonymous The Planet will guard your identity with its life. The Planet will write your story or The Planet will publish your own account, whichever you prefer. You're the boss here. Just let The Planet know.
So. Do you want to talk about it? Call, message or email. Contact info is below,
Thanks, and The Planet is dying to hear from you!
Robin Ford Wallace
news@dadeplanet.com, robinfordwallace@tvn.net
(423) 364-4386
